Without Lies
by Pallet and Cerulean
Summary: Everything was real now, when before it was just a thinly veiled source of comfort. Even when her emotions were running high before, there was always somewhere to pin them, other than on Mugi. Now it was just the two of them, raw and honest. The lies were gone. The secrets and cheating were gone. It was only her and Mugi, and the intimate closeness made her nervous.


Looking past the crisp pages of her book, Hanabi watched Mugi. His pencil scratched across the printout he was working on, the sound light and almost calming in the quiet air. If she remembered correctly, it was English homework, something she didn't plan to work on until it was due a few days later. As Mugi worked, his blonde hair hung down over his eyes, shifting with each little movement he made. His amber eyes skirted over the page, reading with quick accuracy. When he finished a question, he would stop to take a breath before moving on to the next one, his chest rising and falling softly.

Her attention had long since fallen away from the new novel she had been reading. While it was a good story, it did little to hold her interest. It had laid open in her hands, not moving past page thirty-four. Her thoughts had drifted to Mugi, all too aware of the fact that he was right across the table from her. He seemed so close, so why did he feel so far away?

"You never touch me anymore," Hanabi said softly, her voice barely more than a whisper. Even so, it caught Mugi's attention, his pencil coming to a slow stop. Still, he didn't look up at her, almost like he was afraid of what he might see.

When Mugi did look up, gaze searching Hanabi's expression, he wasn't surprised to find that she looked almost careless. Long before he had met her, she had mastered the ability to mask her feelings with a casual, observing expression. It could be hard to read, even for Mugi, but he had learned that her eyes always gave her away. Her liquid violet irises were so expressive, showing her every emotion in intense depth. Now, there was a longing sadness in her eyes, tinging her lips as they turned down ever so slightly at the corners.

"It's different now," Mugi replied, just as ginger and gentle as Hanabi had been. Though, he couldn't deny that she was right. Ever since the night they had both confessed their feelings to their respective crushes, both rejected, he hadn't so much as held her hand. He had held her while she cried that night, but that was the last time. Since they became a real couple, not just a fragile mirage of one, hiding desperation and loneliness, he hadn't hugged her, or kissed her, or done anything more.

"I know it is, but do we have to act like strangers?" Hanabi asked, unable to hide the hurt in her voice.

That drew a discontented sigh from Mugi, hating that she thought of them that way. Like strangers. He pushed his homework away, pencil following, resigning to finish it later.

"It was easy, before, when I could pretend you were Akane," Mugi said, a near sheepish tone edging into his voice. "I didn't have to think about what I was doing to you."

Pressing the pages of her book shut, Hanabi set it down, sliding to the edge of the table. At his words, an odd mix of emotions arose, empathy mingling with hurt somewhere deep in her chest. To some extent, she understood what he meant, but the selfish part of her couldn't help but stir up muddy sadness and hurt. Even though they had agreed to act as replacements, some lonely part of her hoped it was her that he had really wanted.

"But now," Mugi continued, tone darkening, "I'm afraid to." His eyes, seeming to glow in the lowlight, shifted down to the backs of his hands. They were sitting on table in front of him, muscles still but tense. "Before, if I messed up or went too far, it didn't matter, because it was her." His bangs shifted, light strands falling in front of his eyes. "Now, if I make a mistake or hurt you, it's really you," Mugi said heavily.

Taking in a deep breath, Hanabi nodded lightly. It made sense, and she couldn't say she didn't feel the same. Everything was real now, when before it was just a thinly veiled source of comfort. Even when her emotions were running high before, there was always somewhere to pin them, other than on Mugi. Now it was just the two of them, raw and honest. The lies were gone. The secrets and cheating were gone. It was only her and Mugi, and the intimate closeness made her nervous. Trust and vulnerability were hard things to get used to.

Standing up, bare feet padding over the cool floor, Hanabi circled to Mugi's side of the table. She took a seat beside him, shoulders just a few inches apart. Turning to face him, genuinely open, Hanabi blinked at him, eyes deep and clear.

"I want you to make me feel good," Hanabi said, voice smooth and kind, laying her small hand on Mugi's chest. The toned muscle there was warm beneath his thin, cotton shirt, moving easily with each breath.

Tipping his head in towards hers, Mugi laid his hand over hers, lacing her thin fingers with his. His eyes found hers, asking silent permission. Permission to act on his feelings, to let go and to stop holding back, to love her. Leaning in so their forehead's pressed together, Hanabi gave a soft nod, her hand squeezing his.

Mugi took the encouragement, his free hand reaching up to cup Hanabi's jaw. Angling her face to his, he let their lips meet, the touch feather light and tentative. Kissing her tenderly, sweetly, with more heart than he had before, Mugi felt some of his apprehension start to dissolve away. She moved with him, knowing his body, just like he knew hers. Taking her bottom lip in his, moving slow and careful in his affections, Mugi reveled in the way she let out a sweeping breath, at ease. It was reassuring, the way Hanabi responded in kind to his movements, tilting her head ever so slightly for a better angle, leaning into his hand that held her jaw all the while. Her eyes had fluttered closed while he kissed her, soft and content.

Pulling back, just enough to put an inch of space between them, Hanabi took in a deep breath, giving in to her air hungry lungs. Her hand slipped from his, running up the length of his chest to rest on his shoulder, other hand following suit. In the quiet moment, Hanabi let her gaze find Mugi's. His eyes seemed to smolder with a deep glow, desire burning in the pale irises. His hands, set close against her lower back, arms wrapped around her waist, trembled against her skin with restraint.

"Your holding back," Hanabi pointed out, her breath warm against his cheek. She knew him too well, and knew herself too. She was doing the same, trying to take it slow even when every nerve in her body ached with the desire to touch him, feel his skin against her own.

Mugi swallowed hard, throat bobbing. "I'm not, I-" he started roughly, trying to deny the statement. Instead, his words died out and he made a low, wanting noise in the back of his throat. It sent a rush of heat dropping to the pit of Hanabi's stomach, pooling there while ice seared her skin.

Mugi kissed her, this time with all the desire he had locked away, all the pent up passion that he had been holding back. It felt so good to let it go and kiss her, running his tongue over her bottom lip before pushing deeper. Hanabi swallowed a moan, her grip on Mugi's shoulders tightening as she pulled herself closer. Soon, he was overtop of her, hips bracketing hers. Hanabi shifted back, propping herself up against the cool wall at her back. It soothed her heating skin some as Mugi prowled further over her, kisses growing deeper. He licked at her top lip, enjoying the way she gave a happy sigh, moving to press a light kiss to the corner of his lips.

Her shirt had ridden up, Hanabi noticed through the drugging haze of Mugi's affections. It left a strip of milky skin uncovered, the cool air sending chills over her. Hands sliding down the expanse of Mugi's chest, she tucked them under the hem of his shirt, tentative fingers roaming over his lightly toned abdomen. Mugi sucked in a breath as she flattened her hands against the quivering muscles, feeling the warmth of his skin.

Responding in turn, Mugi pulled away from the kiss, only to press his lips to a spot he remembered low on the column of Hanabi's throat that was especially sensitive. A long, needy whimper escaping her lips, Hanabi arched her back, reflexively trying to get closer. Wrapping her arms around his back, Hanabi gasped as Mugi started to suck at her sensitive skin, feeling dizzy with pleasure.

"That's not... fair," Hanabi mumbled between gasps, wriggling under his touch. His lips curved up into a smirk against her skin, breaking his concentration for a brief moment. After a beat, Mugi refocused, teeth scraping against Hanabi's neck in a quick nip. Her stomach clenched hard, a high whine joining her panting breaths in the air. "Mugi," Hanabi whined desperately, her hips twitching up towards his.

At that, Mugi backed off of her, giving her a break, though, without him there, everything felt too cold, too empty. Hanabi shivered at the sudden shift, finding herself desperate for Mugi's touch. Though, just as she was about to reach back out for him, his arms slid behind her back and under her legs, picking her up on one quick movement. She made a quiet noise of surprise as Mugi carried her across the room, setting her gently on his bed. Understanding now, Hanabi laid back on the bed, pillows behind her, its springs squeaking slightly in protest. Her nerves jittery with anticipation, Hanabi felt the bed sink with Mugi's weight, his knee slipping between her legs, his forearms on either side of her head.

Gently, Mugi brushed Hanabi's bangs away from her forehead. Her face felt too hot when he leaned in, pressing a sweet and tender kiss to her forehead. Barely a moment later, his lips were back on hers, warm and insistent. Her lips parted to allow his tongue in, eyes closed softly. Growing more daring, Hanabi let her hands wander back under Mugi's shirt, the soft fabric bunching up at his chest. All the while, he kissed her harder, deeper, more passionate. In the fleeting moments where their lips where apart, his name fell from Hanabi's lips in inaudible murmurs.

Breathing heavy, Mugi sat back on the bed, making quick work of his shirt and pulling it over his head. There was a soft swish of fabric as it landed somewhere off the side of the bed. Just as soon as his shirt was lost from Hanabi's gaze, Mugi set to work on hers, undoing the buttons on her cardigan. Shrugging off the sweater, Hanabi pulled off the tank top she had worn underneath it too, suddenly needing to feel Mugi's torso flush against hers. She arched her back and pulled him closer until they were pressed stomach to stomach.

Feeling a rumble reverberate through Mugi's chest as he made a low, breathy noise, Hanabi kissed his jaw, his breath catching in a way that made her stomach jolt. In just that moment, Mugi shifted, finding his balance to free his hands. His knee slid closer between her thighs, making a throbbing heat rush to her core. Soon, his hands ran up her sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake, stopping just short of her chest. Though a part of her stiffened with nerves, overwhelming desire won out and she touched his hand with hers, assuring him that was okay. When his fingers slid behind her back, fumbling with the clasp of her bra for just a short moment, Hanabi found herself holding her breath, anticipating. The garment came loose and she was pulling it off before Mugi had the chance to. Meant as reassurance, Mugi pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, warm breath washing over her skin.

His hands were moving up again, this time grazing the swell of her breast, sending a pleasured chill over Hanabi's skin. Palms smoothing over her pale skin, Mugi caught Hanabi's lips once more in a quick kiss. After that, his lips were moving down, trailing a line of wet kisses across her jaw and down her neck. He paused his descent for a moment, sucking at the reddened mark on her throat he had left earlier. Hands moving up to card through his hair, Hanabi gave a low whimper as he teased her, trying to stop herself from squirming as he smoothed his tongue over the mark.

As Mugi moved farther, saliva cooling on Hanabi's skin, he left a kiss at the center of her chest. He pulled back for just a moment, Hanabi making a quiet, distressed noise high in her throat, before his velvety, rough tongue trailed over the point of her breast, his hand giving the other attention. Biting her lip to keep from crying out, Hanabi fisted her hands in Mugi's hair. She pressed her head back into the pillows, chest heaving in heavy pants. Mugi's mouth and hands were the only clear things, vivid and intense, while the rest of the world seemed to fade into static.

Though, after a moment of his dizzying ministrations, Mugi shifted down again, pressing a kiss just above her navel as a finger hooked around the waist of her skirt. A breathy gasp escaping her throat as a sweeping sensation drove through her stomach, Hanabi felt a jolt of nervous apprehension.

At her lack of assurances, noticing the way she stilled, Mugi pulled his hand back from her skirt, leaving the fabric undisturbed. "Hanabi?" he asked, looking for permission.

Pushing down her anxieties, Hanabi nodded, face flushing with embarrassment. She wanted this, wanted it so bad. The thought of Mugi stopping made her head spin and heart ache, so she encouraged him. Swallowing thickly as his hands moved slowly back to her skirt, Hanabi felt the agonizingly light pressure of his fingers sweeping against her skin. Suddenly more timid, Mugi pulled the fabric down, a hand under Hanabi's hips, steadying her as she obediently lifted them, allowing him to slip the skirt down to her ankles. With a stiff flick of her foot, the skirt fell to the floor, landing with a soft rustle among their other discarded clothing. Left on the floor, out of sight and out of mind, it was forgotten, lost to the shadowing darkness that prowled over the room and grew with the setting sun.

Her nerves jittery and jumpy, Hanabi let out a shuddering breath, Mugi's eyes roving over her exposed skin. With nothing but her small, white underwear left to cover her, an overwhelming sense of vulnerability started to squirm in her stomach and tighten her chest. It wasn't as if Mugi hadn't seen her like that before, in fact, he'd seen much more. Though, it felt different this time. They were both being honest now, with each other and with themselves. There was no more pretending or hiding, and Hanabi would be lying to herself if she said that it didn't scare her a little bit.

Though, all the thoughts disappeared as Mugi swept a hand up the inside of her thigh, fingers light and teasing. Pulling in a gasp as he stopped just short of her core, his fingers skirting around the cotton that covered her. His mouth was at her breast again, sending low waves of pleasure radiating out. All but helpless again his assaults, Hanabi let her hands settle on the smooth expanse of Mugi's back. She focused on the way the toned muscle flexed beneath her fingers, warm and lithe. Mapping his skin with all her attention and efforts, Hanabi felt her head start to clear, some of the fuzzy static fading away.

In one swift movement, pressing a kiss to the underside of Hanabi's jaw, Mugi took hold of the last piece of clothing left on her, pulling the underwear down and off. Stomach clenching, heat went rushing down between her legs, aching for Mugi's touch. Still, his fingers stayed just a breath away from her bare skin, hesitant. It was only when Hanabi let a needy whine fall past her lips that Mugi gave her what she desperately wanted. Starting a slow pace, Mugi dragged a finger in tight circles over her slit. Her hands stilled on his back for just a moment as she sucked in a gasp, but soon they were in his hair, twining roughly in soft, golden locks. Encouraged, Mugi pressed a finger into her, running the pad of his fingertip over her slick walls.

A breathy moan building in her chest, Hanabi brought one hand to her mouth. In a futile attempt, she tried to muffle the embarrassing moans and gasps that stubbornly forced their way passed her lips. Face flushed and chest heaving as Mugi worked up a rhythm of quick thrusts, thin finger sliding against her in all the right ways, Hanabi tugged at his hair, pulling his head up from where it hovered over her chest. Letting his hand come away from between them, steadying himself over Hanabi on the protesting mattress, Mugi met her gaze with darkened amber eyes, a mix of lust and love swirling beneath heavy lids. Attentions at a halt, Hanabi suddenly felt bare, cold, and endlessly desperate without Mugi's touch, his skin sending sparks across hers.

"Mugi," Hanabi mumbled, one hand smoothing flat against his abdomen. She didn't need to say anymore, her other hand settling on the button of his pants, cautious yet assured. Undoing the button and tugging the zipper down, she pulled at the waist of the garment until Mugi helped her, tossing the dark fabric off to the side. His boxers followed soon after, every last piece of clothing between them gone. Even up through all of the kisses and passionate touches, Hanabi knew this was where they would end up; it was even where she wanted to end up. Yet, now that she was here, laid bare and vulnerable beneath Mugi, Hanabi felt familiar worry cloud her mind.

Nerves knotting and fraying, Hanabi pressed her head back into the pillows behind her, squeezing her eyes shut. Memories of previous times they had tried came flooding to the front of her mind.

Pain. Frustration. Desperation. Unyielding hurt, both physical and emotional.

Trying to untangle her mind's fears and her body's desires, Hanabi balled a hand into a fist, her own skin feeling cold to the touch. Mixed arousal and anxiety kicked her heart and breathing up to a quick pace. It was too easy to feel lost. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, hot and threatening to fall.

Mugi's warm breath caressed her ear, whispering quiet words of comfort, bring her back to here and now. The pad of his thumb swept across her cheek, wiping away a tear that slipped away, trailing down her face. "You don't have to," Mugi said gently.

Shaking her head, Hanabi sniffed, trying to blink back the tears. "No, I want to," she insisted, voice watery but sure. "I always wanted to, but..." she started, trailing off. She wanted to, but she was scared.

"Just trust me," Mugi replied, taking one of her hands in his. Their fingers laced together, Mugi gave her hand a soft squeeze. "If your uncomfortable, just say so and I'll stop."

Nodding, Hanabi let out a breath, nerves calmed somewhat. There was still worry clinging to the back of her mind, but she did her best to block it out, push it aside. Now, desire won out over her fears, the needy throbbing between her legs growing stronger. Mugi's lips swollen and a deep shade of red, he mouthed a silent reassurance before pressing a sweet, gentle kiss to Hanabi's lips. Taking the hand that was clasped in his, Mugi led her hand down between them. Hanabi took his stiff length in her hand, guiding him to where her core ached and throbbed, wanting him.

His throat worked convulsively as he watched Hanabi's shy eyes skirt around his, pale skin flushed to a rosy shade. His attention flickering between her expression, carefully watching for any sign of discomfort, and her hand, keeping a ginger hold on his length, Mugi pressed his forehead to hers. Meant as reassurance, he let his lips graze Hanabi's in a sweet but fleeting kiss. Lashes fluttering as she let her eyes fall closed, letting out a breath in an attempt to relax, she shifted her hips ever so slightly.

As ready as she would be, wet from all of Mugi's earlier attentions, Hanabi guided him in forward, his tip pressing into the slick folds of her center. Mugi shifting forward, his flared head slipped inside, Hanabi's breath hitching in her throat as her legs spread wider to accommodate the new presence. Swallowing thickly, try his best to keep his restraint, Mugi waited for any protest from Hanabi. While she sucked in a breath and kept her eyes shut fast, she didn't offer any complaint. Taking the chance to push in a bit further, Mugi rocked his hips forward, Hanabi's velvety walls clenching down around him.

Chest heaving with heavy, panting breaths, Hanabi struggled against the foreign fullness inside of her. With her core thrumming and throbbing in time with her heartbeat, pleasure radiating out with every beat, there was discomfort too, an odd sort of almost pain at being pressed too full. Her fingers knotted in the thin sheets beneath her, anxiety wrapping it's steel fingers around her lungs, around her heart. Stomach starting to squirm, she found herself getting lost in her head, in her worries, hardly realizing the pain had started to fade.

"Hanabi." Mugi's voice came smooth and warm in her ear, just a bit of rasp edging into his tone with the desire that pulsed through his veins. More so than any lusting need, he was concerned for Hanabi. "Just try to relax," he instructed gently, surprisingly calm and collected.

Nodding, Hanabi pushed back against the anxieties that whirled through her mind. All she had to focus on was Mugi's body against hers, the reality of here and now. Slowing her heavy breathing, Hanabi sucked in a breath, letting it out in a slow puff. Concentrating on relaxing, she could feel herself becoming more accustomed to Mugi's stiff length inside her.

Taking cues from Hanabi's soft nod, the quiet assurance that fell past swollen lips, Mugi pushed in to the hilt, his hips meeting hers. Hanabi stretched her hips wider still, thighs hitched over Mugi's, feeling the uncomfortable overfull sensation slowly morph into insistent pleasure. In a small attempt to satisfy the mounting tension buried somewhere deep beneath the pit of her stomach, Hanabi shifted her hips slightly, every nerve attuned to the way Mugi's thick girth felt against her. With the fiery pleasure of the movement coursing out through her, Hanabi let a moan roll over her lips.

Shaft twitching inside her, his careful restraint dwindling, Mugi let out his own groan, finding it more and more difficult to hold back with the way her white hot walls tightened and contracted around him with every tiny shift.

"Please," Hanabi gasped, a desperate need washing away any anxieties that might have lingered. "Please, move."

With a quick rock of his hips, Mugi gave a short thrust, the friction forcing a moan to reverberate through his chest. Cheeks flushing with desire, Hanabi's hips twitched up towards his as her stomach clenched hard. As Mugi stilled again, wanting to give her a chance to adjust, Hanabi did little to stop the wanting whine that bubbled up in her throat. Hardly needing any more encouragement than that, Mugi set a slow pace, his thrust getting longer until her was pulling out all the way to the tip.

Throwing her head back into the pillows behind her, Hanabi let her hands fall away from where they were still balled in the sheets. Instead, she wrapped her arms tight around Mugi's broad back, pulling him down onto her. She craved his weight, some primal urge flickering alight, making her stomach quiver with demanding anticipation. Eliminating every bit of space between them, the muscles of her abdomen trembling at the feeling of being pressed flush to his, Hanabi relished in the way Mugi's measured thrusts stuttered, feeling the same thrill rush through him as Hanabi did. Their chest pressed together too, Hanabi still insistently pulling him closer. Her breasts meshed against the expanse of his toned chest, her soft flesh heaving with each heavy breath she drew in and out.

"M-Mugi," Hanabi whimpered. The immense pressure building between her legs was ceaseless, growing with every thrust. Yet, she felt so close to release. She just needed a little bit more. Obliging, Mugi worked his thrusts up to a feverish pace, earning a long moan from Hanabi as the breath rushed from her lungs. Losing control over her noise, Hanabi couldn't even bring herself to be embarrassed. It just felt so good. Lightheaded with the blindingly hot pleasure that pulsed through every nerve in her body, she let more ragged gasps slip past her throat as Mugi's thick shaft dragged back against her needy walls, only to push back into their welcoming grip.

All of a sudden, just when Hanabi thought the wild tension between her legs would drive her mad, the pressure shattered to pieces, replaced by a rushing wave of utter euphoria. Fingernails raking against Mugi's back as a strangled cry of his name forced it's way from deep in her throat, her hips rocked to meet his increasingly rough thrusts. Her walls clenching down tight on his shaft, they rippled with intense heat, nearly driving Mugi over the edge. With one final thrust, burying himself fully so that their hips met, Mugi emptied inside of her, a new kind of warmth seeping in to fill her belly.

Both having ridden out their respective highs, they collapsed to the mattress in a mess of tangled limbs and heaving chests. For a while, they stayed like that, neither wanting to disturb the relaxed, intimate quiet that had settled in the air. Finally, Mugi adjusted to lie flat on the bed, Hanabi curling into his side, head coming to rest on his chest.

"Was that alright?" Mugi asked quietly, still conscious of Hanabi's former fears.

Giving a gentle hum of assent, Hanabi nestled closer into Mugi, his skin warm against her cooling body. "It was..." she trailed off, brain still feeling drugged and foggy with affection, "amazing."

A hand settling on her back, Mugi rubbed slow, soothing circles across her skin, warmth swelling in his chest at her words. Watching her lips parting in a languid yawn, Mugi pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. Before, he'd never felt this comfortable and at ease, not with anyone he'd slept with before. There was something about Hanabi, her quiet nature, her sweet willingness, that roused a new sort of fondness in him. It was nice to feel so warm and fulfilled.

"You're perfect, Hanabi," Mugi mused, words nearly lost in her tousled tresses.

Lips curling up into a tender smile, Hanabi let her eyes flutter closed, sleepiness washing over her. "I really do love you," Hanabi murmured in reply, voice sweet and silky.

Soon, the soft rise and fall of his chest lured Hanabi into a contented sleep, Mugi's hand still resting against the smooth skin of her back. Free hand moving to brush a strand of loose hair away from her face, Mugi let a small smile turn the corners of his lips up. After a while, watching over Hanabi's peaceful sleep, Mugi finally let his own heavy lids fall, giving in to the tempting pull of a sleep of his own.


End file.
